I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
you inspire me to be a worse person
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
