we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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