the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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