Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
