YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
