Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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