fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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