And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
