My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
