He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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