He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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