I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
honey bunches of taint.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
