Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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