I feel like abortions should bother me more
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
