But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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