I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
