My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
