One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
