So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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