Duck Duck Cougar?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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