there was a trapeze. enough said
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
