We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
