Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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