you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
