worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
