I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
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