how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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