I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
My feet surprised me
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