Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
