you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
