whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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