Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I need to stop coming to work sober
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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