Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
