Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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