elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
