Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
