Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
