There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
