Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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