How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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