Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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