dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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