508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
