Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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