Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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