wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think i got beer on your cat.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
