I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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