Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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