Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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