fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
