her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
