SEEEEXXX PLEASE
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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