I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Randomize
